Purpose

Some days I feel stagnant. Just here, laying day in bed. Not even knowing my purpose. Not even knowing what I want to do in my life. Slowly realizing that I've been out of the lane for a long time. Slowly seeing where my mishaps brought me. I feel like I'm still running in circles. Every day feels like just one day of my usual routine. I wake up. I eat. I take a bath. I spend my time using my phone. I watch the same series. I go to sleep. The next day, still the same stuff I've been doing for the past weeks.

Some days I feel like I don't care enough. Whatever happens, happens. I let everything flow even if it's not according to my plan. I don't even know what to do in my present time let alone for my future. They say your future depends on you, but what if there is no exact future you want to depend to? I know, sounds depressing. Just being honest, there are days I look forward to vibrant colors but also days I just settle for black and white. 

Am I even progressing? Am I even trying or maybe, just lacking? Do I feel too much? Or too less? Or maybe I feel nothing at all? Am I even taking little steps or just walking in zigzags? Am I getting full of myself or am I becoming less and less motivated? See, not even I can answer these questions. Twenty-one years of existence and I still don't feel acquainted with my soul.

Anyway, is there anyone who wants to sit with me and just drown ourselves with our own thoughts?